Well, I’ve finally hit the tail end. You see hand, foot and mouth disease in kids to all sorts of extents and luckily we only saw a super mild case in our house, to the point that we didn’t even know that was what it was. What doesn’t seem to get talked about is what happens when an adult catches it and to my knowledge, there’s a couple different strains. Over the last… however long it’s been, probably coming up on two weeks now, I’ve read a lot of different accounts from people who were told that hand, foot and mouth in adults isn’t really anything to worry about. Or, that it’s pretty mild at best. For some people I’m sure that’s true. Some won’t catch it at all, others will barely know they’ve had it and even mine wasn’t as bad as it could have been. But let me tell you, this fucking stinks. It‘s been a very special kind of hell. This is going to be a pretty different post to what I’d normally write, more Dad than Deck, it’ll basically be a rundown of my experience with hand, foot and mouth disease. It managed to steal a significant chunk of the last month from me, so here goes…
The First Few Days
I didn’t even know I had hand, foot and mouth to start. Hell, we didn’t even know our daughter had it and I’m still not sure I’m convinced she did. But anyway… I started off with a pretty gnarly headache and what I think was a decently high fever, despite never checking the numbers. Coupled with that was a swollen, sore throat. It wasn’t like a razor blade, tonsillitis-style sore throat but still enough to be inconvenient. The start felt pretty average, but it was more like the start of a strong head cold than the absolute hell that was coming. Apparently that’s the usual initial presentation. After some routine paracetamol, ibuprofen and a decent sleep, everything actually seemed to ease off and I was really quite comfortable. Even the sore throat was basically gone. That same day, I noticed a few flat red spots on one of my feet. I didn’t think much of it, probably a couple small scratches from my cat, a few hours after noticing those spots they seemed to fade out nearly confirming my original thought. Unfortunately not to be, a couple hours after I noticed more spots and they made their way to my other foot. More red spots started appearing on both of my hands and on my face, flat at first but over the coming days they would start to raise, weep and worse. For now, they were just bumps from an unknown source with no further symptoms.
Truly Hell on Earth
At this point, the amount of spots seemed to hit a maximum and they only appeared on my hands, feet and face. Believe it or not, this can get worse and I will happily pour one out for anyone who has had them inside their mouth. You poor bastards. The spots on my hands started to raise, the spots on my face started to raise, open and weep. My feet? Blistered. That was about all… until I tried to go to sleep. I got ready for bed like I normally would, settled in and then somebody dipped my hands into a bucket of pins and needles soaking in hot acid. Why the fuck does this virus even exist? This could be the worst sickness I’ve ever had and I’m not even through it yet. The best part of it all is that literally nothing helps the itching. Showers, baths and meds? Useless. Towards the end, steroid cream followed by moisturiser was the only thing that had any effect. That night I didn’t sleep and when I did, it was for a maximum of about twenty minutes at a time. The itchiness was intense with that pins and needles, hot acid feeling and that continued for about three days only easing toward the end of the third day. I was a total mess. I isolated in the bedroom, as much as you can from a two year old, in my own personal hell until it eased. But, that wasn’t the end.
Secondary Infection
I managed to escape an itchy face and itchy feet for the most part, probably due to the pins and needles acid hands and when it finally stopped I thought I was through the worst of it. Keep in mind, there are many infections that can manifest from hand, foot and mouth disease especially from flaky skin, open blisters and the like (keep yourselves clean, seriously). But a special experience for the blokes out there, I’m not sure if there’s a female equivelent, but there’s a possibility that hand, foot and mouth disease can bring on a secondary infection called orchitis. This means you’ll get pain in one, or both, of your nuts with some associated swelling that’ll need antibiotics. I ended up driving myself into the Emergency Department and this goes without saying if you’re feeling any kind of pain or swelling in either of your nuts: get yourself to a doctor as soon as possible. It’s your fucking nuts, after all. After several people looking at your nutsack in a day, you’ll get a long course of antibiotics. Joyous. I’m currently working my way through these pills that look like they’re meant for a horse and they seem to be doing the trick.
The Other Side
A few nights lost sleep, a trip to emergency and some horse pills later, I’m on the mend. It’s not exactly pretty, those red spots have turned hard and are now cracking and opening up. BUT I’M THROUGH TO THE OTHER SIDE! The skin cracking and peeling sucks, I’ve still got a bit of pain and walking is slow-going for the moment but at least I’m rid of pins and needles acid hands and no sleep. This whole experience has been absolutely horrible and I recommend it to absolutely nobody. Do NOT underestimate hand, foot and mouth disease as an adult and if your child or relative does manage to pick it up, take proper precautions. There is no cure, nothing really helps and you will have to let it run its course. This has easily been the worst illness I’ve ever experienced and it completely derailed any plans I had for a good portion of the month. I’ve picked up some new hardware, accessories and I’ve got some ideas waiting to be covered. Not to mention my many half-finished drafts and notes. They’ll just have to find a place in this month instead. Shame. To recap: hand, foot and mouth disease fucking stinks.
Disclaimer: I am in no way a medical professional and any advice offered in this post is purely anecdotal.
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